Sometimes, when all the swamp news and Trump babble gets to be too much, I like to dig a little deeper into the headlines in search of something — anything — to bring a smile to my face and remind myself that it isn’t all as bad as it seems.
Unfortunately, just when you think it couldn’t get any more bizarre out there, humans find a way to up the ante.
Here’s a look at some of the other stuff going on out there in the world.
Free parking isn’t real
When Robert and Tiffany Williams found $120,000 in their bank account that wasn’t there the day before they must have figured they were living a real-world version of Monopoly and just landed on free parking.
Why else would the Pennsylvania couple spend $100,000 of the money that just appeared in their bank account in under three weeks without a second thought?
The only other explanation is they are just plain stupid.
According to various media reports, earlier this summer, the money – intended for a business - was accidentally transferred into their BB&T bank account because of a teller error.
When the couple discovered the cash, they did the right thing and called the bank.
No, actually they didn’t.
Instead they went hog wild, buying a camper, a Chevy, and a racecar, and giving out $15,000 to their buddies.
All of that in about 2 1/2 weeks, state trooper Aaron Brown told the Williamsport Sun-Gazette.
Unfortunately, all good things come to an end and the bank eventually corrected the error and that led to a $107,416 overdraft because the couple only had $1,121 in their account before the $120,000 showed up.
Bank officials notified Tiffany Williams that the couple was responsible for returning all the funds and while she first assured the bank that she would work out a repayment plan with her husband, she eventually ceased communications
The Sun-Gazette reported that the couple, in separate interrogations, told police that they “admitted to knowing the mislaid money did not belong to them, but they spent it anyway.”
The couple now face three felony charges of theft and receiving stolen property, court records show. They appeared in court last week and posted bail of $25,000 each. The Pennsylvania State Police could not immediately comment on the case to The Washington Post.
Rethinking the cow
Okay, so I know all the Green New Deal people are really pushing hard to cut down on meat consumption so we can get rid of the cows because their farts are depleting the ozone layer – or something like that – but before we send them to pasture permanently, maybe we should take a look at what India officials are up to.
Last week India’s Minister of State for Health and Family Welfare, Ashwini Choubey, announced that the country is seriously working on using cow urine for preparation of medicines and to cure cancer.
"Cow urine is used in the preparation of several types of medicines. It is used even for the treatment of incurable disease like cancer. The urine of the indigenous variety of cow is often used. The Ministry of AYUSH is seriously working on it," said Ashwini Kumar Choubey.
"The government is working on the protection and conservation of cows," Ashwini Kumar Choubey said.
"Non-communicable diseases like diabetes and cancer are a challenge all over the world. We cannot claim to eliminate the diseases completely, but we can control it and for it, the government of India has set a deadline 2030 under sustainable development goal," said Ashwini Kumar Choubey.
According to news reports, Ashwini Choubey also said that the health ministry is studying a proposal to include cancer treatment under the Ayushman Bharat Prime Minister Jana Arogya Yojana (JAY).
The Ministry of Ayurveda, Yoga and Naturopathy, Unani, Siddha and Homoeopathy (AYUSH) does development, education and research in the field of alternative medicine.
How is Kamala Harris going to spin this one?
One-time years ago I quit a job and took a stapler and a pack of Post-It notes home with me as severance pay but that’s nothing compared to what one 36-year-old Japanese dude managed to swipe from his employers between August 2017 and October 2018.
According to a news report out of Oita Prefecture, Japan, authorities there announced last week they had arrested a man (no name given) for stealing almost $100,000 worth of merchandise from convenience stores he had been working at.
He did it like this: The man would get hired as a part-time employee and quit the first day but he would never leave empty-handed.
On his way out the door he would take whatever money he could get his hands on from the cash registers, safes, and customer purchases during his shift. Police say the most he was able to steal at one time was 1,270,000 JPY ($11,960 USD). Reports say the man did this a total of 30 times at 16 different convenience stores across the area.
Out of the 30 total times the man is suspected of having stolen from convenience stores, charges had already been pressed for 26 of these by the time news broke on Tuesday.
The man has explained his actions by saying “I wanted money for living expenses and for having fun.”
The suspect is described as “unemployed” in reports suggesting that he had no other form of stable income other than stealing from convenience stores. He also had no known address and is believed to have been living in hotels across Japan, relocating frequently.
Reports say that he would regularly lie about his name, age, address, and work history during his job interviews.
Despite that, he was hired over and over again.
Maybe chickens are the problem
I’ve never been to a Popeyes chicken joint, so I don’t know what all the fuss is about, but apparently getting your hands on one of their sandwiches is worth a trip to jail.
Last week, amidst the great Popeyes chicken sandwich shortage, a group at a Houston location were denied the delicacy and then tried to demand satisfaction by gunpoint.
According to a Houston news channel, two women and three men approached the Popeyes carrying at least one gun after they were told the sandwiches were sold out at the drive-thru window.
An employee locked the door before the group entered the restaurant, KTRK-TV reported.
Employees on the scene said the group appeared solely interested in acquiring the sandwiches and had left an infant child inside a nearby vehicle. There were no injuries, and the Houston police are looking for the would-be robbers.
I don’t know, how good could it be?
I guess I’d rather have a cheeseburger.